remaking perfectly good movies is dumb

so I just read they are going to remake Seven Samurai, again, with chinese actors

HONG KONG (AFP) - Hong Kong action star
Donnie Yen is set to lead in the Hollywood remake of Japanese classic "The Seven Samurai", alongside George Clooney and Chinese starlet Zhang Ziyi, a film company said.

Yen met
with Hollywood heavyweight Harvey Weinstein during Cannes film festival to
discuss the remake of the 1954 action film directed by Japanese master Akira
Kurosawa.
Weinstein has invited Yen to play one of the seven sword heroes in
the film, according to Mandarin Films, which represents the actor.
"Donnie
has met Harvey Weinstein in Cannes to discuss the project," a spokeswoman for
Mandarin Films told AFP. "We don't know more details as it is still at an early
stage."
She said Weinstein has also invited Clooney and Zhang to lead the
film. It is not clear how much the project will cost.
Yen, 43-year-old actor,
director and action choreographer, has starred in over 40 films, including
"Blade II", "Seven Swords" and Zhang Yimou's "Hero".
The Seven Samurai tells
a story of seven Samurai heroes' who battle with 40 bandits who try to control
and constantly attack a small village.

just by chance, I happened to watch the original this weekend. why someone would think they could remake this movie better than how Kurosawa and Mifune did it is beyond comprehension. that's like saying "I think we should remake the godfather with marky mark and linsay lohan." what the phuck? and will zhang ziyi say "no" to any role? damn.

mixed media in media

I like how media in japan has gotten more mixed up these days. in america we get an action movie, and then we get a video game to go along with it. or the other way around, in the case of doom or bloodrayne. the results are not always sweet.

even though I understand japanese, I like that now I can see battle royale: the movie, battle royale: the novel, and battle royale: the manga, all in english now. it shows a real dedication to promoting and translating good stories, despite their possibly offensive subject matter.

In july the japanese manga oldboy will come out in english mostly because the original japanese manga was made into a korean movie that was pretty popular internationally. whatever it takes, you know.

ainori is good reality tv

I do not like reality tv as a rule, basically because it is not reality tv. it's about as real as 24, or friends or any other show, but instead of actors, it's people that want to be actors being on tv being in a show.

maybe it's the backwards nature of the japanese media, but I am much more forgiving of the only japanese reality tv show I know: ainori.

we watch this every week. the premise is simple: get a bunch of young single japanese men and women. take them out of japan to remote places in the world. give them things to do (charity work, site seeing, etc...) then watch them fall in love with each other. well maybe it isn't that simple:

dude falls in love with girl...dude does a "tell": gives her a plane ticket and says "go home to japan with me"...girl gets a night to think on it...1) girl says "sweet!" and they go back together....2) girl says "ph.o." and dude goes home alone.

that's it really, but it's very playful and fun and when one person leaves they find a new person to take their place. so there is no "final episode" or "big finale". (there are at over 300 weekly half hour episodes now).

this chick does a weekly blog on ainori, but take a chance and check it out if you can.

fujii takashi. there is nothing right, but nothing wrong.

I first saw this guy on j-tv back in the mid-90s. then I thought, "he's kinda gay, but pretty funny". he's like the japanese andy dick, but he actually isn't gay, and he doesn't do thousands of dollars of cocaine every week. you probably remember him best from the movie "lost in translation" as the blond j-guy on "matthew's best hit tv." if you think that is a strange host for a show, a blond guy named matthew, then you haven't seen the quiz show where he is dressed as a monkey like "planet of the apes." I wouldn't phuck with you. anyway, I like this song he put out a few months ago....it seems nice for summer. enjoy.

crazy j- porno titles

my buddy sent me these from his work. j-porno titles translated to english. I don't have links or anything, you can find those on your own, just enjoy the titles and imagine what they could be about. my dream is to become a sperm viking.

Active Nurse Ravishment
Grind Lover
Infinitely Depth Charges
Obscene Hand Goddess
For Your Best Masturbation
Super Slow Motion Sex and Gush
Lets Try Anal Sex
Job Change for Semen
Risky Restraint Maniacs
Female Teachers Ravished Anus
Six Costumes and Fuck
How to Love Big Tits
Sperm Viking 3
100cm Titty Massage
Sex with Arrogant Ladies
Magic Mirror Box Car Fan Appreciation
Lets Carry Out Masturbation Together
Public Molester Hell
I Like Abnormal
Relax Time with English Style Maid

kano sisters can no longer afford clothes

the kano sisters are one of the strangest phenomenon in japanese media I can think of. it's these two chicks that don't really look alike that wear super-expensive clothes and have gigantor boobies and very little personality. apparently they are super-loaded, but like a lot of japanese "talent" there is no clear reason why. they don't actually "do" anything. they just show up on tv shows and show off their 1000000000000 yen handbags and their 10000000000000000000 yen shoes. well, obviously some well went dry, as they dropped the tops....here. the older sister has had so much plastic surgery she looks like a real hag. you'd think she was from hollywood, not japan. some people say she used to be a dude, but I think they are on j-ludes.

laser ramon is hard gay

I know h.g. has gotten a lot of attention from western japanese media fans, but I like him because he knows that this shtick can only last so long. actually he is amazed he can still get away with just shaking his pelvis and saying "fo~~~". that's it. but he's still on tv. kudos are in order, h.g!

some things that don't suck

lately I noticed I posted some things that really suck, but since today is saturday, I decided to freshen up with some things that don't suck. that's the idea, right?

do you hear about american and english actors in strange japanese commercials? you can see them here are japander.com.

rob pongi is one of the coolest guys in tokyo.

but I think masamania might be cooler.

don't trust camera phones

here's two pictures of my friend's friend. this is the same person. I would not phuck with you.

mountain witch suck

I said I an forgive j-cosplayers because they are usually hot, and don't wear much clothes. remember I said I hate zombies? I also hate clowns. now there are clowns in japan. they're called yamamba...it means "mountain witch".

when you are thinking "oh, what is my fashion statement I want to make?" who is going to say "I know! let's be a mountain witch!" you must actually be a witch from the mountains to think this is a good idea.

my friend sent me this pics.

he said, and I quote: "the only way I would take a bj from any of those chicks is if she gargled with Clorox bleach for 60 seconds prior to the act"
I have to agree.

good movie versus bad movie alive

want to see a real crappy japanese movie? then watch Alive. actually before you watch it you need to look up "isomer" in the dictionary. then watch the movie. then punch yourself in the penis for looking up "isomer" in the dictionary then watching Alive.



if you have all this time to watch this, you should have watched Versus. that's a good japanese movie. i hate zombies. well, i know everybody hates zombies. why the phuck could you like zombies? they kill your friends and family! I mean I hate zombie movies. but Versus is a damn good movie. no fake matrix shit like Alive. just good bloody katana zombie killing.

jap cosplayers hot. white cosplayers not

I don't like cosplay. I think it is pretty messed up. if you have time to make cosplay costumes, you have time to kick ass, and I have never seen a cosplayer kick ass. not even one time. I don't care about j-cosplayer, because by design they are hot. I am concerned over a-cosplayer. they are not hot. if they really want to look like the manga character they are making the costume for, why don't they lose weight. "this costume took me 40 hours to make" the a-cosplayer says. imagine if you spent 40 hours in a gym on a treadmill. wow! then you might look a little more like chun-li, and less like e.honda wearing chun-li's clothes!


I would hang out with the guy on the left. he is smart enough to cover his face.


german cosplay! japan and germany should not spend time together!